Have you ever thought that you might have a sexual addiction? In the past 10 years we have seen how easy it has become to satisfy our sexual needs, whether it be through online porn or coordinating sex through dating or hook-up sites. Does the cyber world merely increase our chances of becoming addicted to sex, or does it in some way pacify our needs for sexual interaction?
A list of questions about sexual addictions follows, but one must wonder after reading through these questions, does anything listed seem outside of the realm of the life of a normal gay man. What do you think? Continue on to see how you rate on these tests.
The gay and bisexual sexual addiction screening test
- Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
- Have you subscribed or regularly purchased/rental sexually explicit magazines or videos?
- Did your parents have trouble with their sexual or romantic behaviors?
- Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
- Has your use of phone sex lines, computer sex lines, etc, exceeded your ability to pay for these services?
- Does your significant other(s), friends or family ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior? (Not related to sexual orientation.)
- Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate and/or dangerous to your health?h?
- Has your involvement with pornography, phone sex, computer board sex, ext. become greater than your intimate contacts with romantic partners?
- Do you keep the extent or nature of your sexual activities hidden from your friends and/or partners?
- Do you look forward to events with friends or family being over so that you can go out to have sex?
- Do you visit sexual bathhouses, sex clubs and/or video bookstores as a regular part of your sexual activity?
- Do you believe that anonymous or casual sex kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships or from reaching other personal goals?
- Do you have trouble maintaining intimate relationships once the “sexual newness” of the person has worn off?
- Do your sexual encounters place you in danger of arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
- Have you spent time worrying about being HIV positive & continue to engage in risky or unsafe sexual behavior anyway?
- Has anyone ever been hurt emotionally by events related to your sexual behavior, e.g., lying to partner or friends, not showing up for event/appointment due to sexual liaisons, etc.,? (not related to sexual orientation)
- Have you ever been approached, charged, arrested by the police, security, etc., due to sexual activity in a public place?
- Has sex been a way for you to escape your problems?
- When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
- Have you made repeated promises to yourself to change some form of your sexual activity only to break them later? (Not related to sexual orientation.)
- Have your sexual activities interfered with some aspect of your professional or personal life, e.g. unable to perform at work, loss of relationship? (Not related to sexual orientation.)
- Have you engaged in unsafe or “risky” sexual practices even though you knew it could cause you harm?
- Have you ever been paid for sex?
- Have you ever had sex with someone just because you were feeling aroused and later felt ashamed or regretted it?
- Have you ever cruised public restrooms, rest areas and/or parks looking for sexual encounters with strangers?
+13 yes answers is a potential problem
—Credit to Patrick Carnes, Ph.D and Robert Weiss, CSW
Cybersex Addiction Checklist
If 1-3 of these symptoms are found to be true, this may be an area of concern and should be openly discussed with a friend or family member. More than 3 positive answers would indicate the need to consider more professional counseling with someone trained in the treatment of addictive disorders and consideration of a 12 step support program like those listed in resources for sexual addicts.
- Spending increasing amounts of online time focused on sexual or romantic intrigue or involvement.
- Involvement in multiple romantic or sexual affairs in chat rooms, Internet or BBS.
- Not considerating online sexual or romantic “affairs” to be a possible violation of spousal/partnership commitments.
- Failed attempts to cut back on frequency of online or Internet sexual and romantic involvement or interaction.
- Online use interferes with work (tired or late due to previous night’s use, online while at work, etc.).
- Online use interferes with primary relationships (e.g. minimizing or lying to partners about online activities, spending less time with family or partners).
- Intense engagement in collecting Internet Pornography.
- Engaging in fantasy online acts or experiences which would be illegal if carried out (e.g. rape, child molestation).
- Decreased social or family interactive time due to online fantasy involvement.
- Being secretive or lying about the time spent online or type of sexual/romantic fantasy activities carried out online.
- Engaging with sexual or romantic partners met online, while also involved in marital or other primary relationship.
- Increasing complaints and concern from family or friends about the amount of time spent online.
- Frequently becoming angry or extremely irritable when asked to give up online involvement to engage with partners, family or friends.
- Primary focus of sexual or romantic life becomes increasingly related to computer activity (including pornographic CD ROM use).
Taken from: The Sexual Recovery Institute